after some time

i should have posted a lot of things for the past ten days. but due to our move, internet access was out of the question. kailangan pang sumakay ng jeep, at para sa sanay lang lumakad ng dalawang hakbang palapit sa computer, ang isang sakay ng jeep ay mahaba at nakakapagod.

nameless state

i saw your friendster account just now. you have several pictures compared to when we created that account. you still have a snoopy pic though.=)

all those pictures were of you with her. as i clicked on your account in my friends' list, i get this feeling again of not being able to breathe, this suffocating feeling i hate. i saw you with her. again. you were both smiling. i feel like i'll be having an attack with every picture that i look at. you were cuddling, and you were both smiling. you looked very happy. suprisingly, i smiled at that idea. you are happy. it's in your smile.

i wish that my smiling is a sign. a sign not indicating that i don't love you anymore. because i still do. very much. i wish it's a sign that i can accept things as they are now, that i can finally say i really am hapy for you. i can't help crying now. it hurts me still. but i want to focus on your happiness. and on all other beautiful things life has in store for both of us (separately, of course)...

i can't breathe... but at least, i smiled...