after a while...

i've been out of the "blog circulation" for quite some time now.. no thanks to the pldt application filed eons ago..

oh well..

i'm not in the mood to post all my should-have-been-posted-on-this-date blogs. just in the mood to, i guess, have a new post here...


i went to ortigas this afternoon. i should really leave at the time i scheduled to leave. coz the traffic sucks. never assume that at a particular time there are less cars in the streets...

after driving for an hour and a half, i arrived 40 mintes late for my education counselling appointment. good thing i called ahead and informed them i was gonna be late.

talking to sir willie didn't help that much. just made me even more confused. if he says there is only a slim chance that i can leave for the sept classes, should i pursue with the chichester application now? if not, will my acceptance be carried over for the january classes? or should i try applying to other universities and allot more time for preparation?

sir willie told me, with no offense meant, that it seems i just want to accept what is available now so i can leave soon. true? partly, yes. i don't want to stay here longer. i know this makes me impatient and unreasonable.. but then, i don't want to be here when all those memorable dates come...how patethic could i be, right?????

i know and i feel i'm in a much better condition now as compared with last year... i don't cry my heart out every hour of every day. i am able to finish all the things i should do (not that i have lots os stuff to do nowadays)... i remember anchis and i'm able to smile.. yes, there are still times when i have the i-can't-breathe feeling. but I AM in a better state now. and i (hope) know that it wouldn't take that much longer for me to move on...

which leads me back to my leaving this place... i know mitz is right. she said "...moving away doesn't give you a life, it gives you a different country.." but i feel that leaving this place is an essential factor for my complete healing.. i don;t really know why. i just know it is...

for a bum like me, this is so much stress!!!!