empathy

yesterday, my day was so emotional. it started with that dream. it was followed by hearing from teng again. i miss her badly that talking to her in ym, even for a short time, brought happiness to my heart. we haven't had our coffee dates for a few months now. and i miss just seeing her and hearing her stories of just about anything. i'm happy for what she has accomplished in her work. i just wish she could find time for herself and for us to be with her from time to time.

i think i'm growing addicted to pda. for others, it may not be a cool thing to watch reality shows like that. but law school made me resort to that and i think it has grown on me. the episode showed one of the scholars crying. it wasn't known then why he was crying but during the prime time show i found out that it was out of sadness. he misses his family and maybe he also feels left out because of the language barrier. i was so amazed at how he, as a guy, can show his emotions to other people. and i felt sad as well.

i spent the afternoon at starbucks west ave, where apple works. i was able to finish lesson one of the personal statement tutorial i downloaded from the net. still have five more lessons to read before actually writng the essay.

tita then told me about how allyssa woke up at dawn and shouted her name. i can't imagine how she must be feeling knowing that her mommy would be leaving in three days. at a very young age, being away from someone she's used to seeing everyday and everynight is a big adjustment. if only she can stay here in manila with us so we can be with her everyday, to try filling in for tita.

i don't know what it was that made me want to see den. all i know is that when apple's shift ended and she asked where we're gonna go, i asked her if its ok to go to den's house. i thought it was going to be easy to go to den's. but because of the unexpected heavy rainpour, we faced many "obstacles." heavy traffic, flood, scary lightnings and thunders, and blackouts. add to it the fact that we can't decide on what food to bring. i knew den doesn't cook. he misses meals everyday.

it wasn't any shock to me when i saw den's place. he was a guy, what was i to expect? but there was something about it or him that bothered me. i wanted to clean his house, buy food for him, and make sure he eats his meals on time. i know how sad he must be because of his breakup. i know that at first i didn't think about it much since it was only a three-month long relationship. but knowing now that time isn't really a good gauge on how deep a relationship has become, i wanted to tell him that whatever it is he's going through will pass. it's only normal for him to miss his ex and to wish for a reconcilliation. but he shouldn't forget to take care of himself and to look forward to better things in life. hay den.. if only i could visit you everyday...

thank you for accompanying apple and i to moa. i knew our planning brought about confusion and headache but at least we were still able to meet. i wish i could have talked to you more but knowing you have other friends with you and that apple and i should be exploring the mall we didn't have that chance. i hope those small talks we had while walking will somehow help to remind you to take care of yourself.

lands, chie, eddie, john, dj, and darrel: you guys ended up going home late, i'm sorry. thank you for spending your day with us...