a person from the past

for the past days i have been in contact again with one of my high school friends. we've lost touch for almost six years. i hear news about him from time to time, but no communication like what we have now.


talking to him now brings back a lot of memories, although, i struggle to remember some of them. talking to him now is a bittersweet way of reminiscing things. but i'd like to focus on the sweet part. i've been wanting to connect again with those who have been, let's just say, a part of my "colorful" love life. i guess, experiencing a very deep level of pain have made me become much more appreciative.


being 15 then, i didn't give much thought to whatever feelings were brought out in the open. unlike now that i'm 22. i was satisfied with having the "kilig" feeling that high school girls experience. little did i know, it was another thing for him.


i can't really remember what happened between us, how our ways just parted. maybe it was because of different schools. maybe it was because we entered college life. but those are not enough reasons to just lose touch with someone close to you, right? we have our own share of faults i guess. he was the one courting so he should have exerted more effort, shouldn't have let "it" slip away. i was his friend, first and foremost. i shouldn't have let the school difference hindered our friendship. there was no phone ringing on either end.


it amazes me how easily we can talk about our past loves (though both still can't go into more details. seems both are still in the process of moving on.) our respective relationships lasted for almost three years, and things ended a year ago. the only difference between us is that they had their closure. i still don't have mine. they're civil, i think they're even friends. i, on the other hand, am not just a stranger. i think i am considered as enemy. oh well...


i'm happy we're able to communicate again, and that one of these days i'll be able to apologize for any ill-feeling i may have caused you. I'll also be able to apologize for not keeping in touch. but right now, let's just talk...